Don't Misunderstand Tears!

Did you hear about the little boy who comforted his mother? She was having an emotional day as her twin boys headed off for their first day of school. Their four-year-old brother, Andrew, along with the mother, had walked them from the house to the corner where the bus would stop. When it arrived, the twins jumped up the steps into the bus and waved goodbye through the window. It was then that the mom broke out in tears! The younger brother comforted her with these words, “Mommy, don’t cry! Maybe one day you’ll get to ride the bus, too!” 😊

This funny story caught my attention for two reasons. One is that we have twin daughters, and the other reason is because of the subject of tears. I can remember what it was like to send those little red-haired charmers off to their first day of school. I couldn’t fight back my tears while they charged off hand in hand down the sidewalk and into Houston’s Ed White Elementary! They were ready for kindergarten, but I was not ready to let them go!

Tears can be misunderstood! They can be a sign of strength, resilience, and maybe a little determined stubbornness. A small child will cry and stomp his feet at times of frustration. Tears can also flow during times of joy like a wedding or to celebrate a new birth in the family. And of course, you will often see copious tears shed over sadness and grief. I cried to see a friend come through the church doors to support our family at a time of great loss. We were surprised and comforted that he had driven so many miles to be with us at that tender time.

There is something healthy when tears well up and we release the tension building up inside. Counselors tell us to express our feelings and not to hold them in. It is therapeutic and promotes healing as well as building stronger connections with others. During times of worship and prayer, I have learned to grab a tissue and let the tears flow. Fears and anxieties give way, and joy and peace come to take its place. Andy Otto, a Jesuit blog writer and editor of God in All Things, calls this “The Grace of Tears,” and adds, “It’s a wonderful thing!”

Too often, many of us are reserved about an open expression of our emotions. We then fall victim to the stress of holding all that energy within.  How many have said or thought, “Real men don’t cry!” And it doesn’t only apply to men, some women, too may not trust others with those raw and emotional times when we simply must let loose and cry. But it is a wonderful thing for us to risk being vulnerable in those moments. I have had many hugs and comforting hands on my shoulders during those times of honest expression.

Jesus, in His Sermon on the Plain, offered this beatitude, “God blesses you who weep now.” (Luke 6:21, NLT). In one of the most instructional and emotive times in the gospels, Jesus broke down and cried just before He raised Lazarus from the grave. In the shortest of verses, “Jesus wept.” And those standing nearby were able to witness the grace of those tears as they observed, “See how much He loved him!” (John 11:35-36).

Jesus has given us a gift and modeled it in His humanity. His tears were never a sign of weakness but rather showed the strength of His confidence in the Father’s love and comfort. Tears are a spiritual consolation, and our corporate tears unify us. We are to "weep with those who weep." In Jesus’ high priestly prayer, He made this earnest request of the Father, “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” (John 17:22-23).

Next time you get that proverbial “lump in the throat,” don’t hold back. Grab a tissue and let the tears flow! 

Mike Keppler, retired pastor,
active churchman and
doting grandparent.
Contact: drmjkeppler@gmail.com
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