The Blame Game!
Wash day is Saturday morning at our house. I returned from a morning meeting at church to see a curious sight on the kitchen counter. It was a wadded-up Kleenex or two along with this note printed on masking tape that said, “We need to do a DNA test on this surprise…” I suspect that Mrs. K. already had a good idea who had tucked this little problem into his mowing shorts and had forgotten to remove it before the wash!😉
.jpg) |
| "It's Not Mine!" |
We were
extremely lucky this time that the tissue had held together through the wash
and dry cycles. Usually, after such a disaster like this, we have had to sort
through our laundered clothes and tediously pick through and gather up a
“thousand little pieces” of debris left behind on dozens of otherwise clean garments!
It’s never
fun when this happens and there are usually unpleasant words spoken by both of
us. As “empty nesters,” we don’t have anyone else to blame these days! The
culprit clearly has to be one or the
other of us since the kids have “flown the coop” years ago! But oh, how we seem
to like the back and forth bantering to identify the guilty party!
I laughed
later about Monique’s investigation and her creative suggestion that running a
DNA test would be the answer to the problem. Yes, I remembered thinking at the
time, “She’s been watching too many crime dramas on television!” But (and I
hope all of you husbands are paying attention), I was smart enough this time
not to say aloud what I was thinking!
Blaming
has its roots in the beginning of time. After the crafty serpent’s tempting
question, “Did God really say?” in the Garden of Eden, both Adam and Eve tried
to pass the blame for their disobedience. We remember well how lame Adam’s excuse
sounded, “The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree,
and I ate it.” And Eve’s attempt sounded
equally lame as she tried to blame the serpent, “He deceived me, and I ate!” (Genesis
3:12-13).
This
“blame game” from the beginning of human history has become the preferred
strategy of excusing ourselves from taking responsibility for our own actions.
Rarely, if hardly ever, will you hear someone plead guilty in a court of law. The
burden is always upon the prosecution to prove that the defendant is guilty. It
does not matter how many witnesses can testify to the contrary. Everyone pleads
“not guilty!”
We might
be able to persuade a judge or jury otherwise, but God knows our hearts and
sees every action of our lives. We cannot fool Him by blaming someone else. How
can we get past always playing the blame game when something goes wrong? 1. Accepting
responsibility gives us a chance to receive God’s forgiveness and move on with
our lives. 2. Dealing with defensiveness and pride allows humility to grow in
our hearts. 3. Realizing that we don’t have to pretend to be perfect frees us
to acknowledge our sin and shortcomings and show compassion to others who fail
too. 4. Instead of blaming, pray that God will quiet our hearts in His peace, ask
Him to help us to be forgiving, restorative, and willing to seek
reconciliation with others.
The
Apostle Paul offers this advice for building healthy relationships, “And never
let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words
become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of
grace to help them.” (Ephesians 4:29, The Passion Translation).
Maturing
believers do not live with unrealistic expectations for themselves or others. Let’s
embrace our humanity, learn from our mistakes, love God and others, and instead
of blaming, use words that become “beautiful gifts of encouragement” to others.
Mike Keppler, retired pastor,
.jpg)
Love this message.
ReplyDelete